Already Have Kids and Considering Adoption?

Do you know that over half of women who make an adoption plan already have other children? Many women hide their pregnancies because they are afraid to tell their other kids. We hope the following suggestions will be helpful for you: 

It’s Okay to Feel Sad or Confused 

When you share with your child that you are thinking about adoption for your new baby, you are showing them that it’s okay to talk about adoption. You are letting your children know that it’s okay to talk about their feelings, even if they are feeling sad or confused. It’s important to remind your children that you love them and this baby and adoption doesn’t change that. It may be helpful to remind your child that this baby will always be their brother or sister, but that the baby will live in a different home with different parents taking care of them each day. 

Your Kids Can be a Part of the Process 

It may also be helpful to involve your child in the planning process. If it feels right for you, your child can help you in selecting an adoptive family for your baby and take part in meeting this family as well. This may help to settle fears of the unknown and answer questions that are swirling in their minds. If you are planning an open adoption where visits will take place, talk to the adoptive family about involving your child in these visits. 

A Helpful Resource 

Books and videos may also be a helpful tool. Sam’s Sister is a wonderful children’s book that illustrates the story of a mom who places her newborn son for adoption and how she explains this to her daughter who she is parenting. 

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