My Adoption Plan and My Kids

I’m Scared to Tell My Other Kids About My Adoption plan

Are you facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption for your baby? Do you have other children at home and you’re not sure how to tell them about your adoption plan? Many women who are making adoption plans have other children. Many women hide their pregnancies because they are afraid to tell their other kids. We encourage you to speak with your pregnancy counselor about how to approach this sensitive matter. Below are some helpful tips.

It’s Okay to Feel Sad or Confused

When you share with your child that you are thinking about adoption for your new baby, you are showing them that it’s okay to talk about adoption. You are letting your children know that it’s okay to talk about their feelings, even if they’re feeling sad or confused. It’s important to remind your children that you love them and this baby and adoption doesn’t change that. It may be helpful to remind your child that this baby will always be their brother or sister, but that the baby will live in a different home with different parents taking care of them each day.

Your Kids Can be a Part of the Process

It may also be helpful to involve your child in the planning process. If it feels right for you, your child can help you in selecting an adoptive family for your baby and take part in meeting this family as well. This may help to settle fears of the unknown and answer questions that are swirling in their minds. If you are planning an open adoption where visits will take place, talk to the adoptive family about involving your child in these visits.

A Helpful Resource

Books and videos may also be a helpful tool. Sam’s Sister is a wonderful children’s book that illustrates the story of a mom who places her newborn son for adoption and how she explains this to her daughter she is parenting.

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