The Real Story of a Birthmom
What is it really like when you find out you’re in an unexpected pregnancy? How does someone decide to choose adoption? Read this birthmother’s story of her experience with an unexpected pregnancy and her personal journey to adoption.
**Names and locations have been changed for privacy**
This all started off with what seemed like “the worst time of my life” or “a nightmare.” I fell into a deep and dark place for about a month or two when I first found out I was pregnant. I found out I was pregnant at 10 almost 11 weeks at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic and also lost my job in the same week. I scrambled for phone numbers to abortion clinics. I had two turn me down because I couldn’t have one after 10 weeks and finally found one in ATL that would take someone up to 22 weeks and according to one of the ladies I talked to I could go to Maryland and have an abortion up to 9 months. They gave me “all the options” but I noticed they never reassured me I would be okay despite me crying on the phone with almost every person I talked to. Nothing about going that route or considering that option felt right. When I got to Atlanta they made me feel rushed and even after signing off to hear the heart beat and see the sonogram they would not show me or let me hear a heartbeat. I realized I was on the last step before taking the first pill (medical abortion or “at home abortion” was the route they were taking me) and I saw my sonogram as she was flipping through the clip board and when I asked for it she tried to leave, I held my hand on the door and then she looked at me, then the sonogram, and said “it’s twins” and my immediate response was to cry because I am a twin, then I told her “get me out of here.” I went home and was still dead set on an abortion after getting through a day or two of the shock of it being twins and it hurt my heart knowing I either needed to keep them or do this. I never considered adoption. I wanted to either keep them or abort them. Although it hurt my heart I was more terrified of what my family might think and also knew I wasn’t ready at all for one baby much less two. I was willing to protect myself or “my image” over anything. I was not walking with the Lord and I felt ashamed on top of the shame that already existed just simply living the lifestyle I had been living before I got pregnant.
My family found out and that’s ultimately when I started considering “well maybe I should keep them, or give them up for adoption” and I completely eliminated abortion as an option at all. After some hard conversations I finally said “Adoption is the way to go for my babies.” I changed my mindset to, these babies are my babies and it is my responsibility to make sure they have what is best for them. It was not their fault for the mistake I made, it was mine. I needed to fix this FOR THEM and realized something beautiful could come from it. It was no longer about me. I knew ultimately it was what I needed to do even though it wouldn’t be easy.
My Uncle suggested Lifeline to me. I had no idea what was in store or how this would go, no couple or family in mind yet just a changed heart and mindset on how I hoped this would all end. The day before I went to Lifeline I had a couple in North Carolina sent to me from a mutual friend we had. I stalked Rebecca’s (the now adoptive moms) page quite a bit and just knew in my heart that it was going to be them. I grew up on a farm and when I saw horses, their Dalmatians, and weenie dogs highlighted all over their Facebook I knew that I could see my girls growing up around something like that on top of Rebecca and Henry seeming so down to earth, like lots of fun, and just great people all around with a great family. So I messaged her right away and at my meeting I mentioned I may had found someone and that’s kind of when our journey began.
I started meeting with Jessica, my pregnancy counselor, once a week or more if I needed! A few long months later things started getting more serious as we made my hospital plan. Rebecca and I would text back and forth day dreaming on what the girls would be like, look like etc. I started getting pictures of baby cribs and clothes and even pictures of possible future pony’s for the girls! It was all so exciting and we were just itching to get to THE day! Then all the questions started coming, “would I be alone during hospital time because of covid?”, “will the adoptive parents be at the hospital?”, “would I still get to see the girls?”, “should I parent or is adoption really best?”, “how would I feel after?”, “will I still have support after placing?”. Jessica reassured me that this is my plan and that it was ok to feel what I was feeling. We made my ideal plan and played the rest by ear with Covid. I would not be alone.
Now that we are past the birth and the girls are finally in North Carolina I do see that this was all God’s plan. Madison and Tiffany will be loved by so many and more importantly they have the best parents in the world. What started with the worst mistake ever has now ended in a beautiful story and blessing for so many people involved. Not only do the parents finally have what they have always wanted, children. I get to see them grow and be involved with the open adoption plan we have created with the help of Lifeline. I have gained two friends in Rebecca and Henry. As far as myself personally, the girls have taught me so much about myself and where I want to stand in my life. They’ve shown me anything is possible if you have a plan and you stick to it. The smallest decisions can impact so much whether they are good or bad and sometimes the bad decisions can teach you more than the good. I can now see the bigger picture meant for myself and those sweet girls. I see a bright future ahead for Madison, Tiffany, their mom, dad and their entire family. I can’t wait to witness it. I have never thought for anything like this or had to make a decision on my own like this. I am completely humbled and will never be the same. I will learn from this and no longer make weak or small decisions but if I do I (I am human) I will always try and make the best of it from this day forth. I will never give up even when I fall down. I plan to find a church and I know that through prayer and His word I have peace.
I chose life for them and I want to say thank you to those precious girls for also giving me life.
To begin discussing adoption with a pregnancy counselor today, reach out through our 24/7 FREE, HOTLINE by live chat, text, or phone at 1-800-875-5595. Or you can submit a request for one of our Pregnancy Counselors to reach out to you.