What If My Child’s Birth Father/ Family Members Are Against Adoption?

You are pregnant and considering adoption and, as you begin to share with family and those close to you, you realize that many aren’t as supportive as you hoped they would be. So what should you do? What are your options? Here are some tips from our years of work with women in similar situations:

Be as open as you can with those involved in your life and the life of your baby. Every situation is unique, so use wisdom to decide how much to share and when, but it is usually best if everyone is on the same page as early as possible. Problems may arise if the father of your baby finds out about a last minute adoption plan or that you are considering placing your baby for adoption.

Again, every situation is different and there may be times when you are unable, or it wouldn’t be wise, to tell the father of your baby about your pregnancy. A local pregnancy counselor through our adoption agency will be able to help walk you through all these options as they specifically pertain to your situation.

Keep those you trust with your pregnancy and adoption plan informed. Often, parents or fathers are opposed to an adoption plan because they don’t have accurate (or any) information about how it works. Your Pregnancy Counselor will explain to you how adoption works; you can share that information with those you trust. Discuss why you think this is the best option for you and your baby. Make sure they know …

  1. You are able to change your mind before signing adoption paperwork, and sometimes afterward. (Your Pregnancy Counselor can tell you the law in your State.)
  2. You are able to pick the family you want your child to spend his/her life with. You will be given several profile books with families looking to adopt. You get to be the one who decides who gets to adopt your child.
  3. You will get to choose the amount of contact you have with the adoptive family. You can receive frequent updates and visits, or choose to have a less open adoption.
  4. Why do you feel like this is going to be the best thing for you? For your baby? What is going to be hard about it?

If the father of your baby or close family members are still not on board, there are a couple things to keep in mind:

  1. Are you concerned that the father of your baby may take custody? Discuss with your Pregnancy Counselor what concerns you about this. She can connect you with free legal counsel to explain your separate rights, and how to work towards what is best for your baby.
  2. Are you a minor? If so, we can work closely with your guardian to help you communicate and hear their concerns, too.

In the vast majority of cases, YOU are in control and YOU get to decide what is best for you and your baby. Remember, you are not alone. A local Pregnancy Counselor is available by text or call right now to help in any way we can. We will walk alongside you as you take this journey. If you haven’t told your family or the baby’s father  yet, and you’d like help in how to do that, we are happy to help you with that, as well!

If you would like more information about how to make an adoption plan or having this conversation with your friends, family, or even the father of the baby, let us know.  We are here to help you.  It’s free and we’re available 24/7.  You call call or text us at 1-800-875-5595 or you can submit a request for one of our Pregnancy Counselors to reach out to you.

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