What To Ask When You Meet Adoptive Parents

After you make the decision to put your child up for adoption, you get to decide exactly what’s important to you about the family you choose to raise your child. Maybe you want a family with pets, or who hikes on the weekends, or who speaks another language. You get to choose the parents for your baby from the families looking to adopt that meet your desires.

After you choose your child’s family, you may want the opportunity to meet them. They would love to meet you, too! Families choose Lifeline as their agency because Lifeline values birthmothers, and so do they! Not only are they adopting your child, they are welcoming and honoring you as your child’s birthmother.

Even with this positive relationship, you could be nervous that this first meeting will be awkward. That feeling is normal and, chances are, the adoptive parents are feeling the same way. Remember, you’re both there for the same reason – you both love this baby and want the best for him/her. You want to give your baby the best life and you believe that giving your baby up for adoption is doing just that, so let’s get to it: what questions should you ask when you meet adoptive parents?

  1. Do you have any names that you’ve been considering?
  2. What does a day in the life of your family look like?
  3. What type of parenting strategies do you use or will you use?
  4. Do you have any family traditions?
  5. What is your church like?
  6. What are some of your family values?
  7. What are your hobbies?
  8. What do you like to do on a Saturday morning?
  9. Are you part of a diverse community?
  10. Is the nursery set up and, if so, what does it look like?
  11. Who will help you arrange correspondence and visits, if desired?
  12. How do you plan on sharing about me with your child?
  13. If you already have children, how do they feel about adding another child to the family through adoption?

Remember, these are just suggestions. You may have other questions you’d like to ask! We know you may be nervous, but you do not have to be alone. Your Pregnancy Counselor can walk with you from first deciding to place your baby for adoption, to choosing from couples waiting to adopt, to choosing how much of an open adoption you want, to meeting with the adoptive parents for the first time.

If you would like more information about how to make an adoption plan or having this conversation with your friends, family, or even the father of the baby, let us know.  We are here to help you.  It’s free and we’re available 24/7.  You call call or text us at 1-800-875-5595 or you can submit a request for one of our Pregnancy Counselors to reach out to you.

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